Not Me

It dragged me, enmeshed me into this thing of going to every country in the world and burning my passports. So even though I do not like and even disapprove of keeping “number of coutries travelled to” I went and counted roughly to have an idea how much I had to go. I say “it” because I'm not the one inflicting these things on myself. I don't know who this creature is, but I know it's not me. I feel like a person who is convicted to play the role she is prompted. I have no complaints though, that's another story. Or actually, I have a bit of a complaint. I am at a point where I've reached complete gratification on a personal level. I may quite contentedly lead my life doing the things I wish, playing with my daughter and writing things that nobody reads. These are not popular ideas, they are ideas that most often get a stone thrown at your head when you say them out in the open. Therefore, it's more appealing for me to stick my head in the sand after saying these ;) Or just say them while my head is in the sand so that nobody really hears. Trying to get my voice heard is not something I especially want to do. It's rather something I feel compelled to, pushed to.