Growing up
Growing up with family and health problems I was very apolitical way into my mid-thirties. I had a sort of standard life, I had my personal worries and never got around to thinking much about the world outside apart from the usual conversations with friends on daily news.
Then life “sort of” settled. And I had enough experience behind my back to make something out of all this and come to some conclusions. Basically I think I first started talking about these things to my husband. After doing two round-the-world tours and having had more than enough border problems for nonsense I was upset. Of course it was not only me, I saw other people blocked too. One day at my embassy, there was a girl from Pakistan wanting to visit Turkey. She needed to wait at least month for a visa because they couldn't issue it in Italy and needed to write and get an answer from Turkey. I realized what other governments did to me, my government was doing to somebody else.
There, I also realized what my government was doing to it's own citizens as well. One man wanted to go to Turkey for his sister's wedding. There probably were problems with his papers but I heard the woman behind the screen say he needed to pay 400 Euros for something 70 for something else. All the time I was thinking “What the hell is this for! He just wants to go back to his home.”
We also had more than enough bureaucratic problems to get married. I am Turkish and my husband is Italian. I won't go into the details but because of some stupid laws we couldn't get married neither in Turkey nor in Italy. So we ended up going to Las Vegas to get married and the marriage was all of a sudden legal in both countries.
I didn't know then that this was just the beginning. In order for me to live in Italy, with my legally wedded husband that is, came more bureaucratic problems and red tape. Even my calmest man on earth husband got upset. This time, contradictary to usual, I was calm. I said “They are not doing this because they don't know how to do it efficiently, they are doing it on purpose to show you who the boss is here.”
Then waiting for a baby, I suggested the name Lara for our daughter. My husband said “Dr. Zhivago.” Talking about the movie he also mentioned that the producer of the movie Carlo Ponti was married to Sofia Loren. I started reading about them and realized that they had to get French citizenship, not only Loren and Ponti but the ex-wife also, to get married. Why? Because at that time the Italian government did not allow divorce! I of course was furious at what governments made normal people go through with all their laws and prohibitions. You were their toys.
Then life “sort of” settled. And I had enough experience behind my back to make something out of all this and come to some conclusions. Basically I think I first started talking about these things to my husband. After doing two round-the-world tours and having had more than enough border problems for nonsense I was upset. Of course it was not only me, I saw other people blocked too. One day at my embassy, there was a girl from Pakistan wanting to visit Turkey. She needed to wait at least month for a visa because they couldn't issue it in Italy and needed to write and get an answer from Turkey. I realized what other governments did to me, my government was doing to somebody else.
There, I also realized what my government was doing to it's own citizens as well. One man wanted to go to Turkey for his sister's wedding. There probably were problems with his papers but I heard the woman behind the screen say he needed to pay 400 Euros for something 70 for something else. All the time I was thinking “What the hell is this for! He just wants to go back to his home.”
We also had more than enough bureaucratic problems to get married. I am Turkish and my husband is Italian. I won't go into the details but because of some stupid laws we couldn't get married neither in Turkey nor in Italy. So we ended up going to Las Vegas to get married and the marriage was all of a sudden legal in both countries.
I didn't know then that this was just the beginning. In order for me to live in Italy, with my legally wedded husband that is, came more bureaucratic problems and red tape. Even my calmest man on earth husband got upset. This time, contradictary to usual, I was calm. I said “They are not doing this because they don't know how to do it efficiently, they are doing it on purpose to show you who the boss is here.”
Then waiting for a baby, I suggested the name Lara for our daughter. My husband said “Dr. Zhivago.” Talking about the movie he also mentioned that the producer of the movie Carlo Ponti was married to Sofia Loren. I started reading about them and realized that they had to get French citizenship, not only Loren and Ponti but the ex-wife also, to get married. Why? Because at that time the Italian government did not allow divorce! I of course was furious at what governments made normal people go through with all their laws and prohibitions. You were their toys.
Then came the trouble with the transcription of my Turkish driving license into Italian. The two countries have different laws on surnames. In Turkey we get our husband's surname when we get married. We are obliged to. We can keep our maiden's name but it's either one surname, i.e. your husband's, or two surnames, i.e. your husband's and father's. Of course to have to carry men's names was also unacceptable to me as I believe names should be matrilineal. As they say in Latin “Mater semper certa est” and “pater semper incertus est.” That is “Mother is always certain, father is always uncertain.”
Anyway... Thing is I had changed my name on the Turkish license to De Vincentiis whereas on my Italian ID it wrote Akoz. So the traffic office wanted an official paper from the embassy saying that the two people were the same. It wasn't enough for them that the names of the parents, the birthday and birthplace, and two names of Zeynep Gülin Aköz and Zeynep Gülin De Vincentiis matched. And that on the Italian ID which said Aköz, it also wrote I was married to a De Vincentiis.
Anyway, my husband got the paper. Of course paying 15 Euro to go to thin air. This time they said they couldn't give me the license with that because the Turkish Embassy had written my correct ID was De Vincentiis. So once again to the embassy... We asked that part to be taken out. But when we took that paper, they said they couldn't give a license to someone with an Italian ID of Aköz when on the original license it was De Vincentiis. I wanted my papers to match and wanted to get rid of my father's name anyway. If I had to carry a man's name, I preferred to carry the name of the man I chose, not my mother chose. We learnt from a helpful woman that I could change the surname on my Italian ID with that paper we got from the embassy. So we did. We also changed the sanitary card which has a code similar to your social security number. As it carries the first initials of the surname, it needed to be changed. We took these and I was thinking “Okay, now it is going to be done.
” Well no. Of course not! Not so easy!
This time they asked all other papers they had asked from me to be replaced with De Vincentiis. A photographic ID from the municipality, the permit of stay and a history of residence. Well... Just changing the permit of stay was a hell of a job in itself and I had heard that another woman had wanted to do it and the police had said “Don't bother.” It really wasn't necessary. And I said “ENOUGH!” To my husband as well. He was the one running after all these paperwork as it is his country, I don't speak the language much and we live out of town and he is the one to going downtown for work every day. I told him that he wasn't going to go on with this anymore. I wanted my Turkish license back and I wanted a paper from them detailing all this incident and that was it.
I was really sick and tired of this. “I'm not going to get involved in anything that needs any kind of papers. I want to live paper-free!” I said.
Government-paper free that is. “I don't want residence, I don't want a license, I don't want a passport, I don't want any kind of ID. If need be, I just pay a fine. And it's fine. If not, they can put me in jail or do whatever. I do not CARE!” Weber was right: Capitalism+Bureaucracy= Iron cage. Everyone is rushing to the cage. There is no way back, there is no way out.
“I'm not going to get that Italian licence. I don't want it. And I'm going to go and tear that carta d'identita, cut up my Turkish ID, the passport and throw all the rest of the papers, permesso di soggiorno and tessera sanitaria in the fire. I don't want any of those.”
I really felt like tearing up my cards, burning them. And I would have done it. If I weren't married, if I weren't expecting a baby... That is, if my actions would affect no one but me. I'd live away from it all. They could put fines, they could put me in jail. I wouldn't have cared. I couldn't accept someone putting so many conditions on me without my consent. I couldn't bear someone saying “If you are going to go there you need to get a passport, you need to get a visa, for those you need to bring in these papers and pay me this much; for a driving license, for a health card, for an identity card, for whatever registration, for a simple piece of paper you need to pay me these these amounts.” Go there, get this, they made you run around. I felt like a mouse obliged to obey orders in a labyrinth and I couldn't bear it. I found it humiliating, saw it as an insult to my autonomy- individuality-identity- haecceity- quiddity- however you want to name it.
I wasn't going to let them have me on collar anymore.
Anyway... Thing is I had changed my name on the Turkish license to De Vincentiis whereas on my Italian ID it wrote Akoz. So the traffic office wanted an official paper from the embassy saying that the two people were the same. It wasn't enough for them that the names of the parents, the birthday and birthplace, and two names of Zeynep Gülin Aköz and Zeynep Gülin De Vincentiis matched. And that on the Italian ID which said Aköz, it also wrote I was married to a De Vincentiis.
Anyway, my husband got the paper. Of course paying 15 Euro to go to thin air. This time they said they couldn't give me the license with that because the Turkish Embassy had written my correct ID was De Vincentiis. So once again to the embassy... We asked that part to be taken out. But when we took that paper, they said they couldn't give a license to someone with an Italian ID of Aköz when on the original license it was De Vincentiis. I wanted my papers to match and wanted to get rid of my father's name anyway. If I had to carry a man's name, I preferred to carry the name of the man I chose, not my mother chose. We learnt from a helpful woman that I could change the surname on my Italian ID with that paper we got from the embassy. So we did. We also changed the sanitary card which has a code similar to your social security number. As it carries the first initials of the surname, it needed to be changed. We took these and I was thinking “Okay, now it is going to be done.
” Well no. Of course not! Not so easy!
This time they asked all other papers they had asked from me to be replaced with De Vincentiis. A photographic ID from the municipality, the permit of stay and a history of residence. Well... Just changing the permit of stay was a hell of a job in itself and I had heard that another woman had wanted to do it and the police had said “Don't bother.” It really wasn't necessary. And I said “ENOUGH!” To my husband as well. He was the one running after all these paperwork as it is his country, I don't speak the language much and we live out of town and he is the one to going downtown for work every day. I told him that he wasn't going to go on with this anymore. I wanted my Turkish license back and I wanted a paper from them detailing all this incident and that was it.
I was really sick and tired of this. “I'm not going to get involved in anything that needs any kind of papers. I want to live paper-free!” I said.
Government-paper free that is. “I don't want residence, I don't want a license, I don't want a passport, I don't want any kind of ID. If need be, I just pay a fine. And it's fine. If not, they can put me in jail or do whatever. I do not CARE!” Weber was right: Capitalism+Bureaucracy= Iron cage. Everyone is rushing to the cage. There is no way back, there is no way out.
“I'm not going to get that Italian licence. I don't want it. And I'm going to go and tear that carta d'identita, cut up my Turkish ID, the passport and throw all the rest of the papers, permesso di soggiorno and tessera sanitaria in the fire. I don't want any of those.”
I really felt like tearing up my cards, burning them. And I would have done it. If I weren't married, if I weren't expecting a baby... That is, if my actions would affect no one but me. I'd live away from it all. They could put fines, they could put me in jail. I wouldn't have cared. I couldn't accept someone putting so many conditions on me without my consent. I couldn't bear someone saying “If you are going to go there you need to get a passport, you need to get a visa, for those you need to bring in these papers and pay me this much; for a driving license, for a health card, for an identity card, for whatever registration, for a simple piece of paper you need to pay me these these amounts.” Go there, get this, they made you run around. I felt like a mouse obliged to obey orders in a labyrinth and I couldn't bear it. I found it humiliating, saw it as an insult to my autonomy- individuality-identity- haecceity- quiddity- however you want to name it.
I wasn't going to let them have me on collar anymore.
Then it all got me thinking... What are licences for in the first place?
When I got my license, did I go right out into the traffic? No. Because I couldn't really drive, didn't have the experience nor the confidence. I always had somebody with me for a while. Then, when I felt like I could drive I started getting out on my own. Are there people without licences driving in the roads? Yes, there are. Are there people with licences, getting drunk and killing people? Yes, there are. There are even people with licences, not drunk, but are in a hurry, or upset or just fine but still in a moment of inattention, get into accidents, cause damage and kill people.
I have a sailing licence. Can I sail a boat? No. My husband doesn't have a licence. Can he sail? Yes. At the time I was getting my license, the test was, I don't want to lie but I'd say 20 multiple choice question. Not that it would make any difference if it were 50 anyway. They were so simple and basic. As if that wasn't enough, the inspectors who were supposed to make sure you didn't cheat had a look at your answers and corrected you if you had made mistakes. I had heard a rumor that because Turkey was getting into the EU, there was a criteria that a certain amount of people possessed sailing licences. Now, again I don't want to assert this is true, but we all know that these kinds of things are pretty common and “normal” when it comes to things that have to do with government regulations.
Meanwhile, I had gotten into a group to get help on this surname case. There was a flag on the website and when my husband saw it he said “Where is the Italian flag?” Now... as a person who doesn't believe in countries, and who doesn't have any nationalistic feelings I do not like flags anymore. I suggested if the name of the groups is “Turkish living in Italy” there might be the Italian flag as well. Then of course somebody raised a voice saying that they had nationalistic feelings, not patriotic in a bad way but in Atatürk's way. Of course putting in the name of the founder of the country changes things. Makes patriotism fine.
Anyway... there was some PKK killings at the time and this turned into a big deal. People started commenting. All the same nomenclature. Things we have memorized by heart. Things people keep on repeating over and over again when the Kurdish issue comes up.
So I spoke up and said there was one question that nobody ever asked. “Why are these mothers sending their sons to the military?” If I had a son I wouldn't send him, I'd rather have him be a conscientious objector and go to jail. There were only two cases like that in Turkey and had there been more, the government would have had to pass a law at least allowing for civil service. Of course in my opinion, even that is not enough. How can a government own a year or two of your life? What for? On what grounds?
But of course even civil service is a little bit difficult, would be a huge step for Turkey as we are a very military country. If I'm not mistaken, we have the second largest military power after America in NATO and the fourth after China and Russia in the world.
Of course more insults came my way. But there were a couple of people defending me and agreeing with me as well.
In the meantime I watched Gandhi's movie, I read Thereau's "On Civil Disobedience" and some Kant. I also read Tolstoy's “Kingdom of God is Within You”. Although I am not religious and don't feel that there is a reason to add God and Christ to the argument, the basic thoughts were the same. I was so ecstatic to discover Tolstoy saying the same things I was saying. But also upset as Tolstoy, being even Tolstoy, had said these about 120 years ago and people apparently had not been affected.
I had also written “Even though the contemporary political world order has turned it into this... Earth is not a place to be parcelled into countries and forbidden to people who themselves, their parents or spouses have not been born there or let in on conditions; it is a land as a whole, to be lived and travelled on for some time and then burried under.”
When I mentioned this and that I didn't believe in borders people made fun of me saying my ideas would make even the word “utopic” laugh. I wasn't let down by this remark and quoted John Lennon, Mother Theresa and Einstein, saying there were at least some other people who thought like me and maybe because of us a future without borders could one day be possible.
I also had been saying for a long time that I was going to stop travelling as a protest. Not to get out of my small house even. Someone who has been around the world twice and been to more than a 100 countries, doing this might mean something!
Then I found about Garry Davis. Who had renounced his American citizenship after the world wars. Even though people considered him a bit “nuts”, I believed that would be the only sane thing to do for everybody.
So I went on to find about giving up my citizenship and found out that it was not possible. My country did not allow me to get out of Turkish citizenship without getting another citizenship first. They were of course protecting us from being apolidi.
Then I listened to the stories of an honest, hard-working man who got into Italy under a truck, who wasn't paid for his work and exploited and was just stuck with his hands tied. I kept watching the news of so many people being put in prisons just because they went searching for a better life, the life that we in the modern world have but cannot grant others to even desire the same.
I kept saying how unjust this was. That a baby, just by being born in some place was prohibited from going to some other place and another person, just because s/he was born in one place can go to that place with no trouble. It was against any concept of human rights. These borders and visas. And passports were of course one more way for the government to rob us. Both moneywise and timewise.
Which of course got me thinking how a person could be illegal. My husband said that was a shorthand for saying that what they were doing was against the laws. And I replied “Who set those laws in the first place? Some men. Soon they are going to be marking some areas and say 'It is illegal to breathe on this piece of earth unless with permission from such and such authority' and anybody who dares to breathe will be suffocated. And it will all be fine because there is a law and somebody crossed it, therefore deserving to be punished.”
Of course there was also the question of security. Oh how I hated those searches so much. Those searches that served for nothing. I simply cannot understand how people can put up with these and even think they are good and feel secure. “For security reasons” was such a furious phrase for me to hear. I saw people being stupified by rules which did not serve anything but give trouble to an ordinary person. The check-in personnel getting to play the role of the customs officer of another country, the customs officer trying to play God. So much money being spent on all this machinery and guards to “protect” from I can't understand what. Anybody could still blow up a bomb at the check-in an airport and kill so many people. Why was the only trouble the planes and inside the airport? And I couldn't help but think that if that money had been spent on people, on humans instead, there wouldn't be need for all these measures in the first place.
I also had a case where a newspaper had published my article, but basically chopping it out and not paying me. I had sued them and ended up losing 2.500 USD even though I actually won the case! Because of course lawyer fees are so exorbitant. Of course this made me question the law system which didn't provide any justice but only served to feed lawyers and people in this system.
We had argued before about taxes with my husband. He is a very law-abiding person. While I, as you can tell, am a bit of a rebel. I had said I should be able to decide where my money should be going. Like most people, I didn't want to pay for the military in the first place. Especially in Turkey, the military have so many privileges, from special restaurants to good hospitals, to very cheap nice accomadation complexes, set in nice places. Well... I have to admit, the only good thing the military has done is to keep the green in İstanbul. The places which belong to them are not pillaged to make villas or shanty-towns. Anyway... in this day and age, they could easily set up a system where the citizens could decide where they wanted their tax money spent on.
This was all before the time I could think of such a thing like a life without government.
My husband said that the government was protecting me. And I blurted out “From what?” The government should have protected me from itself. What's more, government couldn't stop a man from getting into my house and killing me. Funnily, around that time, a private security company had come to our door and asked if we wanted a special survaillance at night, if we were willing to pay for it.
When I mentioned this and that I didn't believe in borders people made fun of me saying my ideas would make even the word “utopic” laugh. I wasn't let down by this remark and quoted John Lennon, Mother Theresa and Einstein, saying there were at least some other people who thought like me and maybe because of us a future without borders could one day be possible.
I also had been saying for a long time that I was going to stop travelling as a protest. Not to get out of my small house even. Someone who has been around the world twice and been to more than a 100 countries, doing this might mean something!
Then I found about Garry Davis. Who had renounced his American citizenship after the world wars. Even though people considered him a bit “nuts”, I believed that would be the only sane thing to do for everybody.
So I went on to find about giving up my citizenship and found out that it was not possible. My country did not allow me to get out of Turkish citizenship without getting another citizenship first. They were of course protecting us from being apolidi.
Then I listened to the stories of an honest, hard-working man who got into Italy under a truck, who wasn't paid for his work and exploited and was just stuck with his hands tied. I kept watching the news of so many people being put in prisons just because they went searching for a better life, the life that we in the modern world have but cannot grant others to even desire the same.
I kept saying how unjust this was. That a baby, just by being born in some place was prohibited from going to some other place and another person, just because s/he was born in one place can go to that place with no trouble. It was against any concept of human rights. These borders and visas. And passports were of course one more way for the government to rob us. Both moneywise and timewise.
Which of course got me thinking how a person could be illegal. My husband said that was a shorthand for saying that what they were doing was against the laws. And I replied “Who set those laws in the first place? Some men. Soon they are going to be marking some areas and say 'It is illegal to breathe on this piece of earth unless with permission from such and such authority' and anybody who dares to breathe will be suffocated. And it will all be fine because there is a law and somebody crossed it, therefore deserving to be punished.”
Of course there was also the question of security. Oh how I hated those searches so much. Those searches that served for nothing. I simply cannot understand how people can put up with these and even think they are good and feel secure. “For security reasons” was such a furious phrase for me to hear. I saw people being stupified by rules which did not serve anything but give trouble to an ordinary person. The check-in personnel getting to play the role of the customs officer of another country, the customs officer trying to play God. So much money being spent on all this machinery and guards to “protect” from I can't understand what. Anybody could still blow up a bomb at the check-in an airport and kill so many people. Why was the only trouble the planes and inside the airport? And I couldn't help but think that if that money had been spent on people, on humans instead, there wouldn't be need for all these measures in the first place.
I also had a case where a newspaper had published my article, but basically chopping it out and not paying me. I had sued them and ended up losing 2.500 USD even though I actually won the case! Because of course lawyer fees are so exorbitant. Of course this made me question the law system which didn't provide any justice but only served to feed lawyers and people in this system.
We had argued before about taxes with my husband. He is a very law-abiding person. While I, as you can tell, am a bit of a rebel. I had said I should be able to decide where my money should be going. Like most people, I didn't want to pay for the military in the first place. Especially in Turkey, the military have so many privileges, from special restaurants to good hospitals, to very cheap nice accomadation complexes, set in nice places. Well... I have to admit, the only good thing the military has done is to keep the green in İstanbul. The places which belong to them are not pillaged to make villas or shanty-towns. Anyway... in this day and age, they could easily set up a system where the citizens could decide where they wanted their tax money spent on.
This was all before the time I could think of such a thing like a life without government.
My husband said that the government was protecting me. And I blurted out “From what?” The government should have protected me from itself. What's more, government couldn't stop a man from getting into my house and killing me. Funnily, around that time, a private security company had come to our door and asked if we wanted a special survaillance at night, if we were willing to pay for it.
Now... I have always been an individualist person, not gotten along much with others. Not because I am an agressive, mean or unbearable person (at least I don't think so!) but because I think differently from most people and I don't abstain from saying what I believe.
My husband still defended the system. That I could vote. And I said “I'll never be the majority. I have no chance.”
My husband said “People have formed groups. Because it was safer for them that way. So you agree to obey by certain rules. It's a social contract.” And I replied “I didn't sign any contract. Nobody asked me when I was born or grown up. I don't agree to these rules. I don't agree to be governed this way.”
I had not heard of the social contract theory at the time. Of course my husband, having studied Political Sciences had his mind full of these theories and knew all the names in the field.
So one step after another... I strarted reading anything related. Minarchism, philosophical anarchism, and unfortunately soverign citizens etc. I also found out about autarchism. Which led me to Le Fevre. And then to voluntaryism. Trouble is... I do not like -isms. Still, if there is an -ism to follow, I guess that should be it.
Now my beliefs rest on firm grounds and I plan to take some active role towards achieving these goals in the near future. We'll see what life brings... I just hope it will be better for all peoples of the world. Reading like-minded people gives a wrong impression that the world is on the verge of change. But it still is nice to see that some people are becoming aware and hopefully will inseminate their ideas on others and the next generation to come.
My husband still defended the system. That I could vote. And I said “I'll never be the majority. I have no chance.”
My husband said “People have formed groups. Because it was safer for them that way. So you agree to obey by certain rules. It's a social contract.” And I replied “I didn't sign any contract. Nobody asked me when I was born or grown up. I don't agree to these rules. I don't agree to be governed this way.”
I had not heard of the social contract theory at the time. Of course my husband, having studied Political Sciences had his mind full of these theories and knew all the names in the field.
So one step after another... I strarted reading anything related. Minarchism, philosophical anarchism, and unfortunately soverign citizens etc. I also found out about autarchism. Which led me to Le Fevre. And then to voluntaryism. Trouble is... I do not like -isms. Still, if there is an -ism to follow, I guess that should be it.
Now my beliefs rest on firm grounds and I plan to take some active role towards achieving these goals in the near future. We'll see what life brings... I just hope it will be better for all peoples of the world. Reading like-minded people gives a wrong impression that the world is on the verge of change. But it still is nice to see that some people are becoming aware and hopefully will inseminate their ideas on others and the next generation to come.
