It Takes Two to Make Peace?

Carlo did not like the way I ended our discussion. "It takes two to fight," he agreed. But he thought there was more to it.

"To avoid or to stop fighting, one of the two has to take a step back," Carlo tried to explain. "Only make sure the other side knows what you are doing. This way, giving up does not mean to merely surrender to the other side, but to act in a way that the other side understands that peace, or a life together, is more important than to achieve/maintain some intergrity for ourselves."

He went on:
"Yes, it takes two to fight just as much as it takes two to make peace. The thing is, I do not believe that 'fighting' in the sense of a violent (re)action is the best way to affirm your rights or make your stand."

I like what he has said. "It takes two to make peace" is symmetric with "It takes two to fight." However, if it takes two to fight, it takes one to make peace. (I mean I cannot fight with Carlo! He is a conflict avoidant people-pleaser.)

Of course that would not be so much peace for one side as it would imply surrendering to the will of the other side, but it will be peace in the end. (That kind of peace comes at a price for one side. People with such a personality type like my husband may make unwanted concessions. Their desire to avoid conflict far more outweighs their desire to honor their own needs.) Yet... That is not the kind of peace we want. We want the peace where everybody is more or less content with the solution.

In the very interesting book "The Art of Making Money-The Story of a Master Counterfeiter" Jason Kersten writes:

"Bridgeport favors the offense, because attempting to talk your way out of a fight is often interpreted as a formal request to be victimized."

That may be the same not only in Bridgeport but everywhere around the world. How to overcome that, I do not have an answer to. But it's for sure that you do not have peace this way:

Perhaps the correct version is rather “It takes millions or billions to make peace.” As that is impossible, it follows that peace is impossible. Not that we should not dream and strive to achieve it. It's just that as long as there are people, there will be conflict. With everyone's concepts, perceptions, needs differing... Peace seems to be only a far-fetched wish.